Butterface

My mom called me and told me about a party she went to with dad and she described one of the D.I.'s (dance instructors) in this manner:

Mom: "Oh Ating, she had such a sexy-sexy body pero ang mukha parang kabayo" (her face looked like a horse).

Me: "Yeah mom, she had a "butterface".

Mom: "Ma-Mike said the same thing, but her face wasn't greasy!"

Me: "Mom! Butterface comes from 'Oh she's got a nice body, but her face is not.' Get it? But her face...? Butterface!"

Mom: "hmm..."

I didn't think she got it so I changed the topic.

Cod Liver Oil

Being short of stature, mom worried that we kids would inherit her genes and be short as well. She came up with a regimen of sorts for us. We were forced to drink milk nightly (the ad campaigns then were of growing tall and strong if you drank milk, right before your eyes!), eat Flintstones Vitamins (my favorite was the car) and the secret formula was Scott's Emulsion of Pure Cod Liver Oil. There was a creepy picture of a guy on the bottle, carrying a fish that was his size, strapped to his back...

It was gross. Milky white, thick, and chalky. It had a fishy aftertaste and stayed on your palate for a while. If you burped, it smelled like fish. She would tell us how she and her siblings would run away whenever her mother would whip it out and the only people who couldn't run away were the younger kids and they grew up to be "berry tall"!

Hmm... I'm 5'3" and I took that stuff religiously.

Mom Dispenses Advice

I crack up every time my mom and I talk. She always finds a way to bring the talk around to having grandchildren and when I'm going to get pregnant... She always has a bit of advice on that category, as if I am just not doing things correctly. Sheesh.

Nose Pinch

My mom used to make me pinch the bridge of my nose daily so that it would be more "straight" (tangos)... I don't think it helped too much. My husband thinks it's the funniest thing he's ever heard! Luckily he thinks my nose is cute.

Fat Chat

On a recent visit, my mom decided to tell my husband that I had gained some weight while we were sitting at a table with two other strangers, at a hibachi steakhouse!!

I Got The Hint

My mom's always hinting about when I'm going to have a baby, or rather, when she's finally having an 'apo'. Sometimes it's just funny and sometimes, well... I got the hint!